You are not alone in feeling alone: the science behind loneliness in teenage years

The past few months have been a very busy time for most of us, what with exams, whether that be GCSEs, A-levels or finals. Alongside stress, one other thing I felt was loneliness, as can be the case during long periods of revision. Although particularly exacerbated by the stress and pressure of exams, loneliness - particularly during teenage years- is a topic worth discussing.

Firstly, what is loneliness? Scientists have discovered that loneliness is much more than just an emotion: it’s a biological response. Throughout human evolution, living in groups increased the chances of finding food and avoiding predators. As a result, the brain developed mechanisms to encourage us to maintain close social bonds. When we feel lonely, our brain actually initiates a hyper-vigilant state, releasing stress hormones like cortisol into our systems.

But how is this increased during adolescence? According to data from the World Health Organisation, the percentage of adolescents reporting persistent loneliness almost doubled between ages 11 and 15, with around 1 in 5 teenagers affected persistently by it. Between 15 and 18, according to a study by Gallup and Meta, 25% of respondents felt “very lonely” or “fairly lonely”.

Firstly, during teenage years, the brain is especially sensitive to social connection. The prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for decision-making, emotional regulation and rational thinking, continues to mature into the mid-20s. In contrast, the limbic system, which processes emotions and rewards, develops earlier. This creates a developmental imbalance in which emotional responses are stronger than the ability to regulate them. As a result, we are highly sensitive to social experiences. Rejection, exclusion or criticism can produce a disproportionately strong emotional response, in comparison with positive interactions, which activate the brain’s reward system. This is why these experiences can have a profound psychological impact during adolescence.

Of course, it’s not just biological factors which contribute to this; it's also environmental factors. This wouldn’t be a complete article about teenage mental health without the mention of social media. Social media can amplify our feelings of loneliness through FOMO, or fear of missing out. Social media provides us with constant, curated windows into social events, parties, you name it. Research suggests that frequent exposure to this type of social comparison can reduce self-esteem, increase feelings of social isolation, and contribute to loneliness. Since our brains are particularly sensitive to peer approval and belonging, we are especially vulnerable to the effects of FOMO, making social media a significant factor in the development and maintenance of loneliness.

Not only this, but academic pressure is another huge contributor. Preparing for exams, completing coursework, and managing extracurricular activities often leaves us with less time and energy to maintain and form new friendships. In addition, academic stress increases the production of the stress hormone cortisol. When cortisol remains elevated over long periods of time, it can actually alter how you perceive and engage with the world. Chronically elevated stress hormones can impair social cognition, making you hyper-vigilant for threats, which in turn causes social withdrawal, decreased empathy and an inability to find pleasure in social connections.

Now, what can you do? Especially during times like exams, the best, and also most obvious solution is to reach out to people. This may sometimes feel daunting, due to something called the Empathy Gap. Research shows that individuals worry too much about being a burden or facing rejection, and systematically underestimate how much others enjoy hearing from them or continuing an exchange. Reaching out can be as simple as a brief text, but can have a big impact. 

If your loneliness is much more persistent, however, it is worth considering speaking to someone about it. This is because persistent loneliness can have a negative impact on our mental health, potentially leading to anxiety and increasing the risk of depression. You could speak to a trusted adult, or alternatively, resources like Childline or Young Minds can help.

Hopefully, if you are currently feeling lonely, or have felt lonely recently during the recent exam season, this article has helped you to see that you are not alone in feeling alone.

Author: Noa Archer